Unfit Mother

Yesterday my dad had surgery on his shoulder. He tore a tendon and it needed to be attached. Oh, and the bone had to be shaved. Yuck!

I spoke to my dad this morning and he sounded better than I expected. He was in pain but he was able to joke a bit.

After my conversation with my dad I e-mailed my sister to tell her Dad was doing well. She e-mailed me back and said she was glad to hear that because she was concerned about the type of care my mom would give him. She said that every time she was sick or injured Mom had to leave and Heather had to take care of herself because Mom would get sick to her stomach.

I responded, “Every time? I doubt that.”

This was Heather’s response:

“1. 1988- I was 8 years old and had cut my leg on some barbed wire. Mom took me to the ER to get stitches (5 of them) the doctor asked me to get off the bed so that Mom could lie down.

2. 1988 - Again at age 8 , I was in a bad bike wreck (I still have quite the scar on my knee) , Mom told me I would have to clean it myself because it was making her sick. From the bathroom she called, "Make sure you get all the rocks out!"


3. 1997 - I was 17 years old and had my wisdom teeth removed. The painkillers made me sick and I was throwing up in the bathroom. Mom was at a quilting class, Dad threw me a pillow and shut the bathroom door and said he'd call mom. When Mom got there, I had to clean up the bloody tissues (because of all the vomiting my sockets were bleeding) off the bathroom counter before she could come in.

4. 2006 - I was 26 years old and had my tonsils out, after surgery I couldn't stop coughing. I was scared that I would tear the stitches where my tonsils had been; in addition I could barely catch my breath. At one point I remember opening my eyes and seeing mom go into the bathroom, where she sat forever! Apparently she had to put her head between her knees because she was feeling faint. Her excuse, my incessant coughing was "turning her stomach" and the nurses were there to help me; she had to go help herself.


5. That same day we went to go get my painkillers at the St. Pats pharmacy, I told mom that I wanted to sit in the car because I wasn't feeling well. She MADE me go inside and get the prescription myself (I think mom went to the bathroom). I remember standing in line all by myself and Brandy's mom walked by and asked what in the world I was doing; my color was apparently a lovely shade of grayish pale. Mom’s excuse, she was feeling faint and didn't think she could walk into the building by herself.”

I forwarded the e-mail to my mom and this was her response:

“Yes, yes that does make me sound like an unfit mother..... However on item 4 I didn't stay forever in the bathroom, maybe 5 minutes. And item 5, I did park the car and go in with her.”

She didn’t even deny it!